As with every process in life, it is human will to initiate an act, sustain and also stop an act. The will of man overrides all other motions, as this is an intense and compelling force or power to act voluntarily. Therefore, your will enable you to initiate, sustain and stop an act, depending on what you have decided to do, which ends up in an action being taken, either to the positive or to the negative.
There are several myths and misconceptions about masturbation. The most popular is that only men masturbates, no this is not true, as both men and women in all age groups engage in this activity.
When this act becomes an obsession, and gives you cause for concern, then you are in the process of getting out of the habit. Studies have shown that 95% of men and 85.1% of females masturbates, with a higher prevalence amongst teens.
Steps to take to stop this unhealthy habit.
The responses that flooded in with regards to my last article on masturbation have shown that;
1. people, named and with a face , are engaged in this act.
2. it cuts across both male and female
3. some due to loneliness, and others to derive sexual pleasure, so as not to fall in premarital sex.
4. imbalance in libido, between spouses
5. many are concerned that it has become an addiction, and desperately want to get out of it.
The first step is to acknowledge that it is now an addiction.
Do not feel let down, and look down on yourself. That you are now a failure; and assume that it is a sign of your engaging in a pattern of activity that is self-destructive.
Feeling let down is different from hating yourself, which means condemning your total being. When you feel let down in yourself, you are upset with a certain part of your life. So do not get into self hatred, as this will not allow you to take the right step, in solving your problem. So be positive in self let down, with a focus on taking a step towards your stopping this habit.
Anyone who stops addictive behaviour and returns to it will feel let down. Give yourself the credit for what you have accomplished in acknowledging that there is a problem, and you want to stop it. If you fail and return to it several times, still give credit to yourself.
Secondly, find someone you respect and confide in, and would be accountable to, that can help you. Talk it over with this person, and any time there is an urge to do it, remember that you need to be in control.
This act is actually in the mind. It is your inquisitive and wondering thought, that has brought you this far and you must exercise control over your thoughts, and take charge, say no, and hold on! The burning urge would soon pass.
Keep busy doing other things. If you get the urge at all times, it is easier to get busy doing all other things, from work, to school, business and housekeeping. Do not be idle. Take a walk, get out of the house, just do not be alone, go and get along with friend, find hubbies, hang out or get a job.
Find other things to occupy your mind and your time. If you find yourself in bed and the urge comes, take a book and read, watch a clean movie, news, musical, or better still use your talent at this time!
It is important that you keep busy mentally and physically. This urge can come on like a temptation, and make up your mind that it will not have you. This can also be done by stopping slowly, and try not to be alone at all times, so that you will not have the urge to do it. When you are in the bathroom, do not look at yourself naked and do not stay there too long. This decision must be made by you.
Studies have shown that it takes about two weeks to break a habit. Get rid of all pornographic materials with you. Find a way to be physically active as an outlet. When you do this, do not feel guilty, but proud that you are able to overcome it, and worthy enough to accomplish whatever you want.
When your desire to stop, is greater that your desire to continue, then your goal is achieved. Get to the root of your desire and then take charge. It will take a lot of will power.
Start enforcing the behaviour you “want” to happen, and stop doing the bad activity. If you are a religious person, get help from your local church, someone who would be your accountability partner, to help you, and pray with you, keep busy. Reward yourself any time you triumph. The more you triumph, the more it becomes, and most importantly, pray to God like mad, to help you stop it, he created you, and knows the best for you.
Remember, when you get bored, call a friend to change your mood and think about something else, and listen to music.
Masturbation is a selfish self pleasure that only hurt yourself. The mind is powerful, do not underestimate it. Stay active and keep praying. Exercise a lot, do not think about sex. God created you, and your body is the temple of God, therefore ask Him for help, and He will answer you, if you are sincere.
Sexual addiction, is just like all other addiction, is very powerful, and takes a deliberate and concerted effort and determination to stop it.
A change in environment has been found to be next to a determination to stop this act. It is easy for an individual to alter their external environment quite easily. What you see, most of the time, influences your thought, which is a very important factor here.
The more silent, less visible masturbation addiction affects millions of women around the world. Young boys may begin to play with themselves and experiment over puberty, young girls start at the onset of menstruation. Girls mature faster than boys and often face tempting fantasies at an earlier age.
Successful treatment for this addiction would require a committed individual who is not afraid but inspired for some dramatic changes. And these would involve changes in personal choices, relationship choices and accessory limitations. This could be easy or difficult, but in all, will be worthwhile.
How does this habit happen?
In males, this happens usually between the ages 14 to 16yrs. Females progress more rapidly and start between ages 12 and 15years. The reason many people have masturbated during their life time is because of external, emotional and body’s natural attraction to pleasure.
Recovery from this addiction would require a sustained driven effort and the objective can be achieved by abstinence.
In conclusion, there is a need for you to acknowledge you have a problem, then make a determined effort as listed above to stop this habit, and mainly along side with abstinence. Yes, you can do without masturbating. You initiated it, and your will, would also enable you to get out of this habit.
My interaction with our readers, have shown that it cuts through both sexes, male and female, teens, young adults and mature adults.
For the teens, it is important you seek help from a mature confidant after you have made up your mind, that there is an addiction and you want to stop it. Parents should please look for signs of this habit early in their children, and help them. Also for the mature singles, the same applies to you, and seek professional help as well, with reference to married man and woman involved in this act, please talk to your spouse about this problem. Join hands to resolve this problem, and ensure that you satisfy each other sexually at all times.
Source - thisdaylive
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